try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
