I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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