he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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