i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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