Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
