You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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