You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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