just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
