Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
