That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
