i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
