i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
