At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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