Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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