Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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