he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
