im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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