oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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