How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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