Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
