Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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