No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
