my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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