she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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