It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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