The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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