just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
