butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
