EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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