you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
