Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
And then he peed in my hair
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