3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
