I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They took my balls.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
