so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
