Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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(716): View more from New York

Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?

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(904): View more from Florida

I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion

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(+66): View more from Thailand

A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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(806): View more from Texas

Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there

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(288): View more from

His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy

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