drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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