The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
