when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
