I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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