The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
