Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize