I will die if light touches me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
