your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
True college students do jello shots in the library
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
