We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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