They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
