The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
