fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
