i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How does one acquire holy water?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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