my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
