Kiss
Puke
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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