I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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