I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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