life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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