sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
