Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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