there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
