I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
