I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My vagina is officially offended.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
